Eros and Logos: How Can We Bridge the Differences Between Men and Women?
Jung and Nietzsche on Eros and Logos
One of the most controversial chapters in Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra is “Of Old and Young Women,” where the philosopher of the hammer is accused of misogyny.
However, we will not address those controversies today, but rather speak from Jung’s psychological point of view, which sees in these lines an opportunity to explain the feminine Eros and masculine Logos.
Today, we will take advantage of those words to bridge several differences and misunderstandings between men and women.
Nietzsche says:
Man is a means for woman: the end is always the child. But what is woman for man?
The true man desires two things: danger and play. That is why he desires woman, as the most dangerous toy.
Carl Jung comments:
If I were to speak more psychologically, I would say that a woman’s Eros is more resolute, while a man’s Eros is playful.
Eros, or the function of relationship, in the case of a man is not his serious side.
His serious side is the mind: he is serious with his mind.
And here, a woman is playful: she talks just to talk.
When a man speaks, he speaks seriously, always for some definite purpose.
He clarifies things, makes a contract, a statement, or gives an opinion.
Only an idle man possessed by the anima would talk just for the sake of talking.
Key concepts:
For Jung, Eros refers to the function of relationship — that is, the way a person emotionally and affectively connects with another.
In psychological terms, it is the force that seeks union, connection, intimacy, and shared meaning.
Eros is also associated with the irrational and subjective (emotions, passions, instincts) and is linked to the feminine.
Logos is the function of thinking and rational meaning — the capacity to organize, structure, classify, make decisions, and give logical form to ideas.
It refers to what is rational and objective (reason, thought, order, logic), and is associated with the masculine.
Without trying to justify Nietzsche, he is expressing a crude and provocative view of the unconscious motivations of men and women.
Let us not take it as a biological or ethical truth, but as a philosophical-psychological observation about the archetypes of male and female desire in culture.
Jung, on the other hand, describes a traditional psychological asymmetry between men and women (according to the observations of his time), where:
The woman tends to experience love (Eros) as something serious, with intention and consequence.
The man tends to experience thought (Logos) as something serious, with structure and purpose.
Understanding How Eros and Logos Work
Jung continues:
Now then, when it comes to Eros, it is just the opposite.
A man then wants to play and does not want to be responsible.
He wants Eros for its own sake, and the purpose of Eros is fulfilled in itself.
Just as women enjoy rambling and in doing so their goal is fulfilled, so too is a man’s Eros fulfilled within its own sphere and then... well, it is fulfilled, and he can leave.
In less controversial words, just as a woman can enjoy conversation without needing to reach a rational or structured conclusion, a man can enjoy the emotional experience of Eros without needing that relationship to lead to a commitment or consequence.
That is why we see that women can enjoy the conversation itself without it needing to lead to a decision or clear conclusion, while for us, emotional experiences are often simply about living something full and total in the moment, without needing to project it into the future.
The feminine principle tends to dwell in the unfolding of connection, while the masculine principle seeks clarity and closure.
When these dynamics are misunderstood, emotional disconnect and frustration can easily arise.
A woman may say after a romantic experience:
—"This means we are now beginning something."
While the man may say:
—"That was beautiful. That’s it."
And after a long and deep conversation about a woman’s problems, the man might respond with a string of solutions she won’t apply because she simply wanted to be heard.
But this doesn’t mean her words are empty — rather, the woman uses language and communication as a means to build bridges and create an emotional fabric.
Whereas the man can easily be accused of insensitivity, in reality, his focus is naturally centered on resolution and lacks deeper roots.
If we understand this point well, we see that the feminine Eros and masculine Logos need to be balanced, because as we said in another article:
Without Eros, Logos becomes sterile — man reaches a point where creativity dies.
Without Logos, Eros becomes chaotic — woman reaches a point where she becomes a victim of the complexity she has created in her relational world.
Bridging the Differences Between Eros and Logos
Jung continues:
As you can see, for a woman, relationship and Eros, which are identical, have a purpose: she is serious.
It is no vain thing to speak of love: On ne badine pas avec l’amour [One does not trifle with love] — rather, she truly wants to provoke something.
Just as a man’s mind is not there for what he would call idle talk — just as he proposes that something should come of it — so too a woman proposes that something should come of the relationship.
It was not made to end with her, but to provoke something: it could be to raise a child or anything else, but something must come of it.
Jung affirms that in the feminine psyche, Eros is not just an emotion or pleasure, but a creative force with direction and purpose.
Relationship and Eros are the same: there is no emotional bond that isn’t charged with intention, consequence, and future.
Whereas the man does not conceive of using thought gratuitously or without purpose (talking just to talk feels uncomfortable or absurd to him), he needs to arrive at a decision — a conclusion that produces a satisfying resolution.
The woman needs to feel that her emotional investment leads somewhere; the man needs to feel that his thoughts build something real.
Misalignment in this core dynamic is the root of many relational struggles between the sexes.
The woman seeks to create, and the man to live the concrete — and this fundamental difference can lead the woman to feel frustrated if the man does not envision the relationship the way she does.
Likewise, the man may fear or feel frustrated by the depth of feminine Eros.
We both take our dominant function very seriously.
And because of that, we misunderstand each other when the other “plays” with what to us is sacred:
She is hurt when he loves “just for the sake of love.”
He is frustrated when she talks “just for the sake of talking.”
This is why it is advisable for women to balance their relational world with discernment: to be deeply honest and aware of their own needs, boundaries, and the health of their relationships.
Whereas the man must nourish his logical and intellectual world with the creative power of emotion and intuition, by also cultivating his sensitivity and empathy. In this way, the union with Eros will then fill his life with creativity.
Remember: I’ve committed myself to deeply studying all of Jung’s work and also to freely sharing what I learn, so my content will always be free. But if you’d like to support my project, I’d gladly accept a coffee:
I also recommend that you read my following publications:
Jung: Your suffering is the cure and the greatest thing you've ever produced
How to Destroy the Herd Mind for a New Society (Jung and Nietzsche)
Sources:
1. Thus Spoke Zarathustra, Part One, Chapter 20, “Of Old and Young Women”
2. Notes of the Seminar Given in 1934–1939, December 1935, Session VIII. Carl Jung's commentary on Nietzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra
Finally, someone lights a candle in the catacombs of gender misunderstanding instead of just arguing over the torch.
This isn’t essentialism—it’s archetypal poetry. Logos and Eros aren’t cages for men and women; they’re currents in all of us, and Lord help the soul who thinks they can surf only one wave and call it wholeness.
I’ve seen too many monks terrified of Eros and too many mystics allergic to Logos. They build shrines to half of themselves and wonder why the altar never catches fire.
You’ve captured the ache of asymmetry—and the beauty that comes when we stop demanding sameness and start honoring the dance.
Bless the one who listens with their body. Bless the one who thinks with their heart. And bless us all when we stop mistaking the other for the enemy and start letting them initiate us into the fullness we forgot.
These words are very much from the 1930s from one man's point of view, from a man needing to negate the Other's point of view. In civilized countries women's lives have changed enormously, rendering men into the needy position that women found themselves in for millennia. If Jung were living now, what might he say of Eros and Logos.